Kids Are Our Future

In U.S.A we often hear that parenting does matters. In China, we all know if the child is not well educated, everybody blames his or her parents. In Japan, we also hear that a child wins because his or her parents’ power. There is no doubt that family education acts a crucial role on children’s education. Parents are the most important teachers in a child’s life.

While we all know that by children’s developmental milestones, they were born as successful learners, they have incredible eagerness and ability to learn. However, as they grow, some are doing well in school, some are not. Each child has unique gifts to contribute to the learning process. It is our responsibility, as parents and teachers, to help children know what their gifts are and how to nurture them.

How parents help the child identify and respect his or her talents, learning strengths, and needs? How parents help the child discover his or her interests, dreams, passions, and goals? How parents help the child become an eager, self-directed learner? How parents help the child to maximize his or her learning ability and potential? In the next several posts, we are going to discuss these questions.

As parents, we want to know our children, what ability they have, are they normal kids? Some parents want to know whether their kids are gifted kids. However, the measurement of ability is a really difficult problem, although many researchers and scientists have been working on it more than a century. In addition, measure of intelligence is really controversial topic among parents, educators and scientists.

While the research efforts still keep going on, so far IQ(Intelligence Quotient ) is the most accepted by leading educational psychologists as a single measuring stick for determining cognitive competence.

What is an IQ?

What is Intelligence?
The ability to learn, reason and problem solve. It is a combination of an innate quality and developed results of interacting with the environment.

IQ stands for Intelligence Quotient, which is a numerical representation of intelligence, derived from dividing mental age (result from an intelligence test) by the chronological age times 100. The IQ is a number that ranges from 0 to 200 (plus), 100 is usually considered average.

Is there a need to measure it?

Although IQ level can not present ones’ creativity, it does measure the speed of thinking. Since IQ is still one of the main ways to measure someone’s intelligence so far, why do not you have a try and know better yourself and your kids? Relax and enjoy!

What does an IQ mean?

Score achieved on an intelligence test identifies learning potential, namely, the ability to learn from books, classes, environment and experience, and the ability to apply what have learned to solve problems and make decisions.

How parents guide a kid by his IQ?

There are many types of intelligence, and maintain that one type is not necessarily better than another. Since some of intelligence is so difficult to measure, IQ can not represent it at all, like creativity, common sense, IQ score only can be used as a reference when come to a kid’s education.

In addition, IQ tests come in many forms, for example, some tests use a single type of question, while others use several different subtests. A typical IQ tests include items from various domains, such as short-term memory, verbal knowledge, spatial visualization, logic thinking and perceptual speed with time limit. Therefore, the score you got just by taking one IQ test is not necessarily true.

If your child gets a score around average or even above average
In order to not give your child the implication that intelligence is innate and fixed, do not overemphasis on intellect or talent because it may leave him or her vulnerable to failure, fearful of challenges and not willing to pay effort, even lead to him or her be unmotivated to learn. Encourage effort and stress growth by learning, in this way parents will help the kid to do better in school and in life.

If your child gets a score under average
Since IQ tests come in many forms, they may come to different results. If you found that you child may have some problem on learning in the same time, I suggest you to take a professional IQ test and consult with specialist if necessary.

In fact the IQ test is still a test that mainly focuses on two aspects, which are Language and Math skills. One can be intelligent in many fields such as music, painting, art, and sports without having strong Math and/or Language skills.

Parents should praise the kid for his or her passion on learning, effort and persistence, tell him or her successful stories that emphasize love to learn and hard working, and teach them about the brain as a learning machine. One can be more intelligent by continuous learning, and IQ score actually can be improved.

What skills help a person to succeed academically and life most? Most people think EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient) acts a more important role than IQ (Intelligence Quotient).

Children grow up with high EQ are willing to take challenging careers and build satisfying relationships. A growing number of educators recognize that students who receive an exclusively academic education but lack Emotional Intelligence education may be ill-equipped for future challenges, both as individuals and members of society. Emotions well-being is a key factor, which leads to success and happiness.

What are Emotions?

Emotions are stimuli to act. Extreme emotions like love, fear or angry are easy to identify. There are some complex emotions and therefore difficult to recognize. Some may last for minutes, others may linger for weeks.

Emotions are crucial survival instincts. All animals experience similar emotion with human, while the only difference is that we have more developed capability to think about and control emotions.

What is Emotional Intelligence Quotient (EQ)?

Emotional Intelligence (EI) is about a person’s ability to understand and manage his or her own feelings and those of others, and to use this information as guidance to prepare better, make better decisions, think more creatively, motivate him or her self and others, and enjoy better health, better relationship and happier life.

Emotional Intelligence (EI) is often measured as an Emotional Intelligence Quotient (EQ).

Social and emotional learning (SEL) is the learning process to aspire to a higher EQ. Studies show that EQ is the best predictor of a child’s future achievement; better than any other single factor. Some people think that EQ is a better predictor of success than IQ and technical skills combined.

Why Develop Emotional Intelligence?

Although academic achievement is very important, there are a lot other more important things in our life. Emotional well-being contributes not only to academic achievement, but also to better physical health, happy family and satisfactory work experiences in our life.

Emotionally intelligent children with higher EQ stand out apart from the rest of children. They are better at controlling impulses, communication, making thoughtful decisions, solving problems, and working with others, which lead to a healthier, happier and more successful life.

How Parents can Help Kids Develop Emotional Intelligence

Compare with IQ, a child’s EQ can be nurtured by various scientifically proven methods.

How we parents decide to raise our kids? It depends on our values and principles we teach them in life. It does rely on the kind of experiences we as parents have. It is conditioned to the quality of the environment kids are growing up in. In addition, it has a lot to do with how much time and the quality we dedicate to them every day.

What are kids’ emotional needs?

I think to know our kids and understand them is the first step.

A newborn wants to stay with mom, because he or she wants to be safe. A 3-year-old draws a cute circle, being eager to show you and wants to hear your praise; the child wants to be accepted. A 5-year-old helps mom to set dinner table, trying to show his or her value, wants to be useful, be appreciated, and be loved. As the child grows, he or she might then be ready to move towards filling higher emotional needs such as the need to feel free, want to be independent and fulfilled, wants to take challenges, have creativity, accomplish, and succeed.

Being aware that these needs are all important to children for their emotional health is probably a good start. In order to meet each individual kid’s various emotional needs on a day to day basis, parents can come up with their own ways for helping the child.

What emotionally healthy children look like?

• Expresses their feelings clearly and directly
• Have better impulse control
• Are not dominated by negative emotions such as Fear, Worry, Guilt, Shame, Embarrassment, Disappointment, Hopelessness, Powerlessness, Dependency, Victimization, Discouragement
• Can balance feelings with reason, logic, and reality
• Are confident
• Are independent
• Are self-motivated
• Are optimistic
• Are interested in other people’s feelings
• Are better learners
• More responsible
• Have their own thoughts and are better able to resist peer pressure
• Are better at resolving conflicts
• Tolerate frustration better
• Are less likely to engage in self-destructive behavior such as drugs, alcohol
• Have more friends
• At school, they do better academically and help create a safe, comfortable classroom atmosphere that makes it easier to learn.

Some tips for parents

• Children’s emotional and social skills can be cultivated; we as parents can help kids to become social and emotional well-being kids.
• The earlier emotional education begins the better. Be aware to meet the different social and emotional needs of infants, toddlers, and young children and adolescence.
• Help young children learn the words for their feelings.
• Look for toys and products which help kids to build emotional competencies.
• Talk about feelings with kids openly, and catch the chance of teachable moments in day-to-day life.
• Teach kids how to manage negative emotions, such as anger, depression.
• Help kids learn to generate options to feel better, and tell them why it isn’t helpful to say that others “make” us feel how we do.
• Praise kids’ efforts to improve their EQ.
• Teach emotional competency by storytelling, and discuss movies or web sites.
• Be a role model. Kids emulate parents’ behavior.