Kids Are Our Future

Teenage is a very difficult time for kids themselves as well as their parents. The kids no longer remain kids and they are yet to become adults. Challenge courses, peer pressure, and the emotions make them stressful. During this time, in order to guide teenagers, parents need to connect with them, pay much care and caution.

In order to achieve better parenting, we would like to discuss several topics in the next posts. We will start with the development of teens’ brain, then move to figure out what are teenagers’ needs? How to connect with teenagers? How to help them handle stress? How to guide them on nutrition and exercises? How to Motivate Teenagers to Be Their Best? Let’s do our best to be good parents in order to guide teenagers to success!

Let’s learn about teenager parenting together and be better parents.

We used to think that teenagers respond “not normally” because of their hormones, or attitude, or because they simply need independence. But when adolescents’ brains are studied by researchers through magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), it was found that they actually work differently compared with adult brains. Teenagers’ brain is still in the progress.

By learning how adolescent brain development, parents can understand the teens’ behaviors, such as impulsiveness, rebellion, high emotions and risk-taking, which are “normal” teenage behaviors, so that parents can guide the confusing and frustrating teen years and teens’ behavior and personalities as they get older better.

By scientists, the human brain takes 25 years to fully develop. With the advent of magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), researchers can see how the brain actually functions, what parts of the brain use energy when performing certain tasks. For instance, research found that the particular part of the brain “lights up” when performing a visual task.

It was thought at one time that the foundation of the brain’s architecture was laid down by the time a child is five or six. In fact, 95 percent of the structure of the brain has been formed by then. Dr. Jay Giedd at the National Institute of Mental Health in Bethesda, Md., together with colleagues found that an area of the brain called the prefrontal cortex, appeared to be growing again just before puberty(age 11 in girls, 12 in boys). The prefrontal cortex acts as the CEO of the brain, which is responsible for complex judgment and decision-making, such as controlling planning, working memory, organization, and modulating mood. It was observed, as the prefrontal cortex matures, teenagers reason better, develop more control over impulses and make judgments better.

It was found that the frontal cortex gives adults the ability to distinguish a subtlety of expression. For the teens, this area wasn’t fully operating. That’s a possible reason to explain that the teenage years seem so emotionally turbulent, and the teens seem to be misreading the feelings on the adult’s face.

Reactions, rather than rational thought, come deeper in the brain, than the frontal cortex, some neuroscientists suggest that an immature brain leads to impulsivity, or “risk-taking behavior.”

Jay Giedd and his colleagues’ research confirm what other neuroscientists have outlined over the past 25 years that different parts of the brain mature at different times. In particular, it has shown that the frontal cortex of human beings matures relatively late in a child’s life.

Some researchers argue that the idea that adolescents are difficult because their frontal lobes aren’t mature is one we should be very cautious of. We all know there are adolescents that are hard to get along with. However, there are adults with mature frontal areas that are hard to get along with for the same reason. In addition, there are very young children who seem to have no problem with this. Very immature brain structure, yet results in very sophisticated behavior. Therefore, moving from structure to function, deciding what behavior is caused by what part of the brain is much more complicated.

Besides a few well-defined sensitive periods for certain types of vision, hearing, and first-language learning, the brain is capable of growth well beyond the first few years of life. It is found that an important part of the growth is happening just before puberty and well into adolescence.

Most of parents agree that adolescence is a developmental phase fraught with challenges, yet beyond the traditional challenges of that life phase, nowadays, teenagers face unique demands and difficulties. Dilemmas such as increased virtual world and globalization pose problems not only for the teens themselves, but also for their families, schools and communities.

In order to help teenagers to develop physically and mentally, parents should not only meet the basic needs as mentioned in the Understand Children’s Needs but also respond to these unique needs of teenagers.

Though parents often regarded teenage years as a carefree time compared with the period of young kids, parents should look back on their teenage years and recall how tumultuous and uncertain adolescence can be. This may help parents to be prepared to react to teenagers with support and understanding. With teenagers’ self-awareness increase, they need self-esteem, self-fulfillment, recognition and independence. In fact, teenagers need more attention from their parents. This is a time they need their parents to meet their mental needs the most.

Test Value and Build Personal Value

Adolescence is the key stage of life when teenagers begin to decide which values they want to use to guide their lives. Being able to think abstractly, they are capable of questioning the values by which they have lived so far. They test the values passed by their parents, schools by doing various experiments and seeking out new experiences, for example, new clothes, hairstyles, friends and activities.

Most children during adolescence will ultimately decide their values for themselves, although their parents and schools have impact on them.

Seek out Identity-Who am I?

Teenagers are trying to leave childhood behind and grow into young adults. They start to think who they are, and try to find the answer. Much of their confusing behavior is a result of their attempts to develop their identity.

Look for Acceptance

Acceptance or recognition is a basic need for everyone, teenagers need for acceptance as well. For example, whatever your teenager’s opinion is, you should be willing to listen to him or her even if you do not agree with him or her. You have to think in the way he or she is thinking and avoid judging him or her right away. You can also show acceptance by providing encouragement rather than criticism, which not only builds your teenager’s self-esteem, but also helps motivate him or her to make efforts.

Give and Receive Affection

Teenagers have a need to give affection and to receive it. Help them coping with emotions are very important. Parents should tell them that everyone has feelings like disappointment, sadness, anger, joy, excitement and to express these appropriately to other people is the key.

In addition, parents should show unconditional love to their teenagers in whatever situations; even they disappointed you, did not respect you, and even angered you, because they need their parents’ love and feel secure. When they failed a class at school, they need encouragement from their parents instead of lecturing. A child is never too old to need a loving family.

Want Independence

Teenagers have passed the relatively calm years as kids but they are not into the adult years yet. They struggle to figure out where they are in life and who they are. They are thinking about their future and trying to find answers. They are preparing for being independent.

If parents treat and educate their teenagers just same as treat and educate their young kids, the teenagers will complain that parents lecture to them, and they become rebellious. They usually mess up being independent with being rebellious.

Take “Risk-taking” Action

The teenage stage is the fun, memorable and exciting stage in the entire life cycle. In this stage the curious teenagers experiment everything without caring about the consequences. The result of their activities gives them the basic knowledge of the real world.

Live in Virtual World

Because of the popular use of the internet, teenagers now live in the digital virtual worlds as well. Teenagers are using internet, blogs, Podcast, online videos to learn and submitted electronic homework. However, a lot of teenagers spend a lot of time at online gaming, and chatting in social networks, facing negative impact from the web as well. Nowadays, for teenagers, there are jus too much distraction from studying.

Face Globalization

Globalization has impact on education as well, which raises fundamental issues and profoundly altered people’s experience of both formal and informal education. Schools and colleges face dynamic changing all over the world. Some people even feel that the true tutors of our children are not school teachers or university professors or parents but online and offline filmmakers, advertising executives world wide.

Struggle with the Gap of Dream and Reality

It is in their teenage years, teenagers step out of fairy tale books and step into reality of the world. They start to observe and experience the difficulties in the real life and realize the gap between their dream and reality. Some of them feel stressful; some are working hard towards their dream.

Deal with Pressure

It is true that a teenager is a child old enough to understand to worry about uncertain situation. Peer pressure, challenging courses, expectation from family, all these become stressors to teenagers. Sometimes, they feel overwhelmed and become depressed, which result in their fluctuating moods and erratic behavior. They really need parents support and guidance.

Need Guidance and Limits

Teenagers need parents to provide limits, because they can be inconsiderate. Too much freedom causes insecurity. Although teenagers thought they could take care of themselves, they really needed a loving family, as well as a lot of guidance to steer them onto a better life path.

Discuss with teenagers on rules and guide them how to deal with conflict. As long as parents set some limits, parents should allow your teenager to make their own decision, encourages your teenager to take some responsibility in order to prepare for independence.

Need More Information

In addition to the basic needs which all teenagers have, parents need to provide to teenagers some other information, for example, need to teach teenagers about money and how to use it efficiently, need to provide information on their school subject choices, sexual matters, social skills and information on their future career.

For parents, to figure out what teenagers need from their parents and to know how to provide it is very crucial to guide teenagers. Those parents who handled their children successfully when they were younger, may encounter parenting problems if do not know their teenagers’ needs. Learn about the development of teens’ brain, and try to meet the needs outlined here. Parents will achieve better and effective parenting to help their teenagers develop to succeed.

To improve your parenting skills refers to Great Parenting Books.