Nature versus Nurture : Raising Healthy Happy and Successful Children

Nature versus nurture is not a new topic for raising children. I heard three real stories that happened around me recently, I have been thinking about it. The top question in my head is “whether nature or nurture has more of an impact on a child’s development”. In this article, I would like to share my thoughts with you. And hopefully, it can motivate you to think in your own way and find the most suitable way to raise your own healthy, happy and successful children.

Three Real Stories

1. A colleague of mine sent her daughter to the best private schools nearby from pre-school all the way up to high school. In addition, she sent her daughter to ballet classes, piano classes, drawing classes, and swimming classes after her daughter turned 3 year old. Two years ago, her daughter went to a college in east coast of U.S and then quit. Now, her daughter is attending a cooking school in New York. Her daughter is the only child in her family. My colleague and her husband have been trying their best to invest money and time on her daughter’s education.

2. My friend has a daughter and a son. She sent both the two kids to same preschool, elementary, middle school and high school. Her daughter is a straight A student and went to a top college last year while her son is a B student and does not like work hard.

3. My neighbor’s son does not like study. After he graduated from high school, he decided not to go to a college. He found a job in a local supermarket working as a cashier. In the supermarket, he met a young man who graduated from college with a bachelor degree two years ago. Later they became friends. The college graduate’s major was psychology. One year later, my neighbor’s son went to a college and major in Engineering.

Nature versus Nurture

As an adult, I truly believe what makes us who we really are depend on both our DNA and life experiences. In terms of Child Development, Nature or Nurture which factor is more influential in a child’s life? The nature psychologists believe that a child is born with certain tendencies and that nature has more influence on the child. While the nurture psychologists believe that a child’s upbringing has more of an
influence on a child’s behavior.

It is easy to understand that physical characteristics, such as skin color, eye color, and height are hereditary, however, when it comes to an individual’s behavior, intelligence, and personality, we do not have a clear answer yet. Which one is more influential in a child’s life, nature or nurture? Although the argument exists for a long time, we do not know the answer yet, we do know that both nature and nurture play a very important role and they are tightly interwoven.

Nature gives us inborn abilities and traits; nurture takes these genetic tendencies and shape them as we learn and mature. I personally think that the question, which factor plays more important role is very difficult to answer, because there are too many aspects and factors involved in a child’s development.

I do agree that skills can be trained and acquired. For one skill, the more training, a child get, the better he or she will be. On the other hand, each child is different, he or she has some personal traits and can be categorized into one or more personality type group. To change the traits is not easy.
To raise a healthy, happy and successful child, we need to consider the child’s nature personality, besides provide the best educational environment possible. I think to nurture your child to be positive, have a dream, and work towards it, is a key, no matter what personality type, the nature your child has. Do you agree with me?

Appreciate your thoughts on Nature versus Nurture, if you can share with us by commenting.

Developmental Milestones for 17-year-old

Teenagers in middle adolescence are making big progress both physically and mentally. Most of them start to concern about their body size, shape, and weight. Especially some girls are on strictly diet in order to be slim, which lead to eating disorder. During this phase of development, each teenager is developing his or her unique personality and opinion, although peer relationship still does matter for him or her. Middle adolescence is also an important time for the teenagers to prepare for independence and responsibility. Many teenagers start working part time, and are going to leave home soon after high school.

Emotional and social

  • Less time spent with family and more time spent with friends
  • More independence from parents
  • Less conflict with parents
  • More intimate relationship with friends
  • More interest in the opposite sex
  • More capable for caring others
  • More capable for expressing himself or herself

Cognitive

  • More studying and working habits
  • More capable for thinking
  • Greater ability on identifying right and wrong
  • Stronger ability to solve problems
  • More planning and preparation for future

To learn more parenting skills, please refer to Happy Child Guide, My Out-of-control Teen and great parenting books.

Positive Parenting Tips for 15- to 17-year-old

Safety first

In U.S.A some of children at this age start to drive. Teaching them about traffic safety becomes more important.

  • Ask the teenager follow the traffic rules strictly. For example, must wear a seatbelt and must obey traffic speed limits while driving. Advise him or her to concentrate on it when driving.
  • Ask the teenager to wear a helmet when riding a bike or motorcycle.
  • Talk with the teenager about the dangers of smoking, drinking, drugs and other risky activity.
  • Teach the teenager how to handle with emergency.
  • Know how to contact with the teenager while he or she is not home.

Tips

  • Because the teenager at this age is easy to get depressed, parents need to talk to him or her about his or her concerns and pay attention to any changes in his or her behavior closely.
  • Discuss with the teenager the importance of choosing friends who behave well.
  • Show interest and be involved in the teenager’s school and extracurricular interests.
  • Encourage the teenager to become involved in activities such as sports, music, and art.
  • Encourage the teenager to volunteer in the community.
  • Praise the teenager and celebrate his or her effort and accomplishment.
  • Spend time together doing fun things.
  • Respect the teenager’s opinion.
  • Encourage the teenager to develop solutions to problems.
  • Help the teenager learn to make good decisions.
  • Teach the teenager to use internet correctly and safely.
  • If the teenager works, use the opportunity to talk about respecting others and responsibility.
  • Talk with the teenager and help him or her to plan ahead for difficult situations. For example, what he or she should do if under pressure to do dangerous things.
  • Respect the teenager’s need for privacy.
  • Encourage the teenager to get enough sleep and exercise, and to eat healthy, balanced meals.
  • Encourage the teenager to spend some time with family. For example, to have meals with family to have more time communicates with each other.