Parenting Kids by Their Temperament is critical because many scientific studies of temperament have showed that children’s health and development are influenced by their temperament and by their parents’ temperament.
Achievement in school is obviously related to a child’s ability, IQ, EQ, and to the quality of instruction he or she receives. Achievement is related to his or her temperament as well. Researchers found that a child who achieves is able to moderate physical activity appropriately, minimize distractions and focus on tasks, and persist.
How parents can help your children by their temperament
Why Parenting Kids by Their Temperament?
Although there is a debate on whether temperament is innate or can be nurtured, recent research results show that children’s individual differences are shaped by environmental experiences from infancy as well. Different parenting strategies may help to increase or decrease certain aspects of a child’s temperament. The family environment and children’s school environment have a major impact on whether children’s early temperaments remain stable and on whether their temperaments lead to good outcomes. Parenting Kids need to consider kids’ temperament.
“Goodness of fit” theory for parenting kids
Thomas and Chess suggested the “goodness of fit” theory, which can be explained that in order to work better for children with different temperaments, need different parenting strategies.
Those children who are aggressive and difficult to manage benefit from a parenting style involving more restrictive control. Those shy children benefit from being encouraged by parents to explore new situations. Finally, some children pose greater challenges in certain contexts to parents and teachers are likely to benefit from additional support and education.
“Goodness of fit” between the child’s temperament and his or her environment impacts whether the child is growing and developing in a healthy environment. Parents and the child with different temperaments can have healthy relationships by working towards “goodness of fit.”
Tips for Parenting Kids
- Learn the value of children’s different temperaments. Look at the strengths and weakness with each temperament.
- Help the child know his or her own temperament. Self-awareness is the first step toward modifying behavior, talk about temperament to the child and help him or her understand how the temperament affects his or her feelings and behavior, and the impact on others as well as.
- Be aware of the child’s temperament and respect his or her uniqueness without comparing him or her to others.
- Be aware of parents’ own temperament and adjust parents’ natural responses when they have a conflict with the child’s responses.
- Set reasonable expectations for the child and parents.
- Change expectations as the child grows and changes.
- Communicate with the child frequently. Explain decisions and motivation. Listen to the child’s opinion and encourage teamwork.
- For easy or flexible child, parents need to set aside special times to talk about the child’s frustrations and hurts because he or she seldom has that, and once it happens the child has very weak tolerance on that.
- For difficult and active child, parents should provide areas for vigorous play to use his or her energy. Prepare the child for activity changes and use redirection to help him or her to transit from one place to another.
- Teach fussy kids anger management at a young age.
- For slow to warm up or cautious child, parents should stick to a routine, and give him or her ample time to get used to new situations.
- Adapt parenting strategies to plan for temperament tendencies.
- Help the child adapt his or her tendencies to grow, learn and develop in the real world.
- Be aware that typical behavior for children of a certain age at certain developmental stage may be in a developmentally appropriate way, rather than having a challenging temperament.
- Avoid labels. Be aware of the child’s many attributes; do not categorize the child at an early age, because labels may not accurately reflect him or her. Labels will limit the child future growth and development.
- Help the child to build self-esteem. Help Him or her think positively and develop a positive self-image.
- Be a good role model because children learn by imitation.
To learn more skills on Parenting Kids, please refer to great parenting books.