What skills help a person to succeed academically and life most? Most people think EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient) acts a more important role than IQ (Intelligence Quotient). So this article discusses how to raise a high EQ kid.
Why to Raise a High EQ Kid?
Children grow up with high EQ are willing to take challenging careers and build satisfying relationships. A growing number of educators recognize that students who receive an exclusively academic education but lack Emotional Intelligence education may be ill-equipped for future challenges, both as individuals and members of society. Emotions well-being is a key factor, which leads to success and happiness.
What are Emotions?
Emotions are stimuli to act. Extreme emotions like love, fear or angry are easy to identify. There are some complex emotions and therefore difficult to recognize. Some may last for minutes, others may linger for weeks.
Emotions are crucial survival instincts. All animals experience similar emotion with human, while the only difference is that we have more developed capability to think about and control emotions.
What is Emotional Intelligence Quotient (EQ)?
Emotional Intelligence (EI) is about a person’s ability to understand and manage his or her own feelings and those of others, and to use this information as guidance to prepare better, make better decisions, think more creatively, motivate him or her self and others, and enjoy better health, better relationship and happier life.
Emotional Intelligence (EI) is often measured as an Emotional Intelligence Quotient (EQ).
Social and emotional learning (SEL) is the learning process to aspire to a higher EQ. Studies show that EQ is the best predictor of a child’s future achievement; better than any other single factor. Some people think that EQ is a better predictor of success than IQ and technical skills combined.
Why Develop Emotional Intelligence?
Although academic achievement is very important, there are a lot other more important things in our life. Emotional well-being contributes not only to academic achievement, but also to better physical health, happy family and satisfactory work experiences in our life.
Emotionally intelligent children with higher EQ stand out apart from the rest of children. They are better at controlling impulses, communication, making thoughtful decisions, solving problems, and working with others, which lead to a healthier, happier and more successful life.
How to Raise a High EQ Kid
Compare with IQ, a child’s EQ can be nurtured by various scientifically proven methods.
How we parents decide to raise our kids? It depends on our values and principles we teach them in life. It does rely on the kind of experiences we as parents have. It is conditioned to the quality of the environment kids are growing up in. In addition, it has a lot to do with how much time and the quality we dedicate to them every day.
What are kids’ emotional needs?
I think to know our kids and understand them is the first step.
A newborn wants to stay with mom, because he or she wants to be safe. A 3-year-old draws a cute circle, being eager to show you and wants to hear your praise; the child wants to be accepted. A 5-year-old helps mom to set dinner table, trying to show his or her value, wants to be useful, be appreciated, and be loved. As the child grows, he or she might then be ready to move towards filling higher emotional needs such as the need to feel free, want to be independent and fulfilled, wants to take challenges, have creativity, accomplish, and succeed.
Being aware that these needs are all important to children for their emotional health is probably a good start. In order to meet each individual kid’s various emotional needs on a day to day basis, parents can come up with their own ways for helping the child.
What emotionally healthy children look like?
- Expresses their feelings clearly and directly
- Have better impulse control
- Are not dominated by negative emotions such as Fear, Worry, Guilt, Shame, Embarrassment, Disappointment, Hopelessness, Powerlessness, Dependency, Victimization, Discouragement
- Can balance feelings with reason, logic, and reality
- Are confident
- Are independent
- Are self-motivated
- Are optimistic
- Are interested in other people’s feelings
- Are better learners
- More responsible
- Have their own thoughts and are better able to resist peer pressure
- Are better at resolving conflicts
- Tolerate frustration better
- Are less likely to engage in self-destructive behavior such as drugs, alcohol
- Have more friends
- At school, they do better academically and help create a safe, comfortable classroom atmosphere that makes it easier to learn.
Some Tips for Parents to Raise a High EQ Kid
- Children’s emotional and social skills can be cultivated; we as parents can help kids to become social and emotional well-being kids.
- The earlier emotional education begins the better. Be aware to meet the different social and emotional needs of infants, toddlers, and young children and adolescence.
- Help young children learn the words for their feelings.
- Look for toys and products which help kids to build emotional competencies.
- Talk about feelings with kids openly, and catch the chance of teachable moments in day-to-day life.
- Teach kids how to manage negative emotions, such as anger, depression.
- Help kids learn to generate options to feel better, and tell them why it isn’t helpful to say that others “make” us feel how we do.
- Praise kids’ efforts to improve their EQ.
- Teach emotional competency by storytelling, and discuss movies or web sites.
- Be a role model. Kids emulate parents’ behavior.
To learn more parenting skills to Raise a High EQ Kid, please refer to great parenting books.