How to Help Children to Gain Their Self-confidence?

Why is self-confidence important?

Self-confidence is a person’s belief that he or she has the ability to succeed. It is essential for all aspects of children’s healthy development and school success. Confidence can be a self-fulfilling message, as those without it may fail or not even try because they lack it, and those with it may succeed because they have it and keep trying.

Children who are confident are highly motivated to success, are eager to learn new knowledge and skills and take new challenges. Self-confidence is also crucial for getting along with others and working out many social challenges. Children with social confidence enjoy interacting with others by sharing, competing, and making a lot of friends, which is a key to team work and to succeed in the global society.

How does self-confidence develop?

Self-confidence is not an inborn ability. Babies learn who they are primarily through their interactions and experiences with others. A child’s sense of confidence is mostly shaped and nurtured by those who care for him or her. Let’s use some examples to see how confidence grows across the first several years of life.

  • A newborn cries and is comforted by his parent. He is learning about love, and feeling he is important to his parents.
  • An 8-month-old baby shakes a rattle and smiles at the sound it makes. His parent says, “You make it works! Good job!” He is learning he can do it, and feeling happy by parent’s praise.
  • A toddler picks up a pen and drawing on the wall, his parent says “no!” and gives him a piece of paper, he starts drawing. He is learning that his interests are important and will be supported by those who love him.
  • A 3-year-old counts “1, 2, 3”, his parent says “great!” and teaches him “4, 5”. He enjoys leaning and mastering new things.
  • A 5-year-old figures out one plus one, his parent tells him, this is math, he feels he love math want to know more.
  • A 7-year-old brings home his report card with a lot of “As”, he smiles and his parents smile.

How Well Do You Know Your Child?

In U.S.A we often hear that parenting does matters. In China, we all know if the child is not well educated, everybody blames his or her parents. In Japan, we also hear that a child wins because his or her parents’ power. There is no doubt that family education acts a crucial role on children’s education. Parents are the most important teachers in a child’s life.

While we all know that by children’s developmental milestones, they were born as successful learners, they have incredible eagerness and ability to learn. However, as they grow, some are doing well in school, some are not. Each child has unique gifts to contribute to the learning process. It is our responsibility, as parents and teachers, to help children know what their gifts are and how to nurture them.

How parents help the child identify and respect his or her talents, learning strengths, and needs? How parents help the child discover his or her interests, dreams, passions, and goals? How parents help the child become an eager, self-directed learner? How parents help the child to maximize his or her learning ability and potential? In the next several posts, we are going to discuss these questions.

To learn more parenting skills, please refer to great parenting books.

How to Choose the Best College?

It depends on each applicant’s individual objective condition and subjective condition, namely, what do you what? What can you reach?

After considering how to choose a right major for you (refer to the previous post), at least you have some ideas that you may interest in one or several directions.

To find the right college for you, to know yourself and potential colleges is the key.

What do you what? Questions related your subjective conditions.

What is your career goal?
A clear goal always motivates a person. It is an essential factor for choosing a college.

Want a challenging academic environment or not?
Most of the famous universities are very competitive and have very challenging academic courses, while the reward is also big. Usually the students can get to know famous professors and get better education environments, and the graduates have more job opportunity, more chance to succeed in some fields.

What major or programs of study interests you?
Enjoying what you are doing is the best motivation.

Prefer a rural, suburban, or urban environment?
Some people like quiet study environment, while some like exciting big city life styles.

Want a college that is near your home?
If you choose a college near your home, it is easy to meet family and take advantage of the network you and your family already built. In addition, it is cost effective.

Want scholarship or financial aid?
Usually anyone wants scholarship, for financial aid depends on each individual’s financial situation, some may do not need it.

Public school or private school or does not matter?
Public schools are usually funded primarily by the state and are governed by a group of publicly-elected officials and private schools are the opposite of public schools, with most of their funding coming from private sources and are run by private individuals or organizations. Usually, public schools are less costly than private schools; however, some private schools have scholarships and good financial aid programs.

Want a school with diversity races?
In a country where a lot of cultures and races mix together, some people consider it important to evaluate the racial ratio in colleges. In U.S.A, usually, the minority ethnic races include Asians, Hispanics and African-Americans.

What can you reach? Questions related you objective conditions.

What are your academic skills and talent?
Including your high school ranking, GPA score, SAT scores and other things show your talent and skills, which make you stand out. For example, if you do not have a good GPA, you can not apply some colleges.

Can you afford the college?
Consider the financial aspects. Get a clear picture of the costs, such as tuition, class fees, housing, and meal plans. Look into financial aid and scholarships.


  1. Investigate at least three to five colleges which interest to you, and your grades and SAT or ACT scores meet the requirements. A little research and an open mind can greatly increase the odds that you make a good college choice.
  2. Try to find out the answers of the following questions.
    • How long will it take to complete the studies?
    • Who is teaching in the area of study?
    • Is there any famous professor in the area of study?
    • What are the potential job opportunities after graduation?
  3. Because until the very end of the application process, you can only know how much it will cost to attend a college, do not rule out it early because of cost. Many colleges offer scholarships, financial aid, and tuition installment plans.
  4. Deadlines are very important for your application, whether for college applications, SAT or ACT registration, financial aid, scholarships, campus housing, etc. Write down a schedule and adhere strictly to all deadlines.
  5. Visit at least your top two or three choices, before making your final college selection decision. Like the old saying, believe it until see it.